The Loneliness We Don’t Talk About During the Holidays

Big Human Jenna
Nov 17, 2025
3 min read

What’s behind the loneliness we see in kids around the holidays?

Presents to wrap. 🎁 Meals to plan. 🥘 Kids already drifting toward their screens.📱

If this sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it and you’re definitely not alone.

So many parents go into the holidays hoping for connection, togetherness, and a little bit of magic… only to feel their kids slipping into their own world, half-present, half-scrolling. It’s its own kind of ache: wanting closeness, but watching your child drift somewhere you can’t quite reach.

The hidden reasons kids drift during the holiday season

Kids don’t suddenly pull back just because the holidays are coming.Many of them are already feeling disconnected — the season simply makes it easier to see.

During the school year, kids have structure keeping them anchored — routines, teachers, classmates, predictable rhythms. When winter break arrives, all of that suddenly disappears. Friends are traveling or busy with their own families. Days stretch out unstructured. And parents are juggling work, money, stress, and their own emotional load.

It’s in this space — the space without routine — that kids often feel the disconnect more deeply. The holidays promise togetherness, but real life feels messier, more complicated. And underneath it all is this quiet myth so many of us absorbed:that being in the same room should automatically create connection.That if we decorate enough, plan enough, try hard enough… we’ll all feel close.

But kids know that isn’t how connection works.So when the pressure rises and their feelings get loud, they often check out — not because they don’t care, but because they aren’t sure how to express what’s happening inside.

Connecting with kids on their terms

Connection grows in the spaces where kids feel safe to be exactly who they are. And sometimes that looks like:

Sitting next to your child while they scroll, not to make them stop, but to simply be with them.
Letting a small, meandering conversation unfold without trying to steer it.
Naming what’s true in a soft way: “The holidays can feel lonely. It’s okay if you’re not feeling festive.”
Offering space when they need space and giving yourself the same grace.
Remembering that connection isn’t a performance. It’s presence. And presence looks different for every kid.

Giving your kids an emotional lifeline

When kids feel seen, truly seen, something shifts. Not instantly. Not magically. But in that quiet way where they realize, “Oh… I don’t have to go through this alone.”

And this is a big part of why I’m creating 💪 Power Cards.They’re coming soon!⏰ And while they were originally designed to help kids navigate bullying and social hurt, they’re really about something deeper: finding your voice when you feel small, overwhelmed, lonely, or unsure how to ask for help.

Because whether the pain comes from a classmate…or a friend group…or the ache of feeling disconnected during winter break…the feelings underneath are often the same:

“I don’t know what to say.”“I don’t know how to express this.”“I don’t know where to put all of these big feelings.”

The 💪Power Cards give kids language for the hard stuff. Not as a fix. Not as a “feel better now.”But as a gentle lifeline. A way to name what’s real. A way to reclaim a bit of their power, their truth, and their voice.

Beyond the cards, an emotional lifeline might look like:

Creating space where your child can talk without being “fixed”
Validating their loneliness instead of brushing it away
Letting them skip a family event if their nervous system says “nope”
Being honest about your own emotional load
Helping them identify one trusted adult—parent, therapist, mentor, teacher—who feels safe

Loneliness doesn’t care about the calendar. But it loses some of its power when kids have tools and people to help them through it.

Ways to nurture connection (during the holidays and beyond)

Here are some gentle, practical ways to support real connection with your child — in any season:

Letting go of the idea that being together automatically means feeling connected. Presence and closeness aren’t the same thing and kids feel that difference.
Releasing the pressure for the holidays (or any day) to look joyful. Connection isn’t made through perfection. It’s made through honesty.
Allowing kids (and adults) to feel what they actually feel. Even in seasons that are “supposed” to be merry.
Showing up in the small, ordinary moments. Sitting nearby. Asking a gentle question. Being available without expectation.
Naming what’s real. Saying out loud, “Sometimes the holidays feel lonely,” makes the feeling less heavy and theirs to carry alone.
Offering tools, permission, and gentleness.Giving kids ways to express their feelings without forcing a mood or moment.